By David Roppo
Fear – we all experience it, yet few understand it. Most folks view fear as a nasty and vile emotional state that breeds anxiety, panic and, in extreme cases, mayhem in the deepest, darkest corners of the mind. And while I agree with that analogy, I’m going to show you a side of fear that is often overlooked and greatly misunderstood.
Without question, there is a duality to everything that exists in the universe. For example, light can’t shine without dark, good can’t flourish without evil and fearlessness can’t rise in the absence of fear. Consequently, evil will never be completely vanquished and neither will fear. To experience such an event of singularity would defy universal law. However, if we can bring balance to the force, then we will have achieved our goal. (Sorry! I’m a STAR WARS fan, and I digress)
Ponder this for a moment; what if we could create a world that was comprised of an 80/20 split – eighty percent good and twenty percent evil? Ah, then we’d have something! That is exactly what I’m proposing when it comes to fearlessness and fear. Let’s face it; even those that appear to be fearless occasionally wrestle with thoughts of fear. However, there’s one distinct difference, they don’t allow fear to paralyze them! Fear can be a paralyzing nemesis or an agent of change. I’m going to show you how to employ the agent of change!
Before we get to the nuts and bolts of overcoming fear, I’d like to shed some light on the mainstream perspective. I have listed some well known quotes and common views regarding fear below:
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do!” Eleanor Roosevelt
“The only thing to fear is fear itself!” Franklin Delano Roosevelt
“You don’t face your fears, you stand up to them.” Anon
“Always do what you are afraid to do.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Do not look upon this world with fear and loathing. Bravely face whatever the gods offer.” Morihei Ueshiba
“If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” Dale Carnegie
Notice that the common theme encompasses facing or conquering fear. I agree that fearlessness does require action. And, to put it bluntly, you will have to look your demons squarely in the eye. But to offer that advice to the lay person without first exposing the root cause is a bit like putting the cart before the horse.
Hearing “You must do the thing you think you cannot do” when fear is coursing through every fiber of your being is not something most folks can wrap their arms around. In fact, it usually exacerbates the situation! Earlier, I referred to fear as a potential agent of change. And, indeed, it can be a powerful ally!
However, it can also be used as a paralyzing nemesis or what I like to call “A license to avoid change!” Bottom line, fear is always connected to underlying core issues. It is not necessarily the fear that strikes panic in the hearts of folks, but rather the core issues and the consequences connected to them. This is what must be addressed if one is to become fearless.
For your benefit, I have listed some of the common fears and their root issues below:
Fear of Abandonment
This fear is connected to issues of self-love. Do others continue to abandon you because you have abandoned yourself? Rather than trying to weed out the people who won’t abandon you, fall in love with yourself. If you love hanging around yourself, others will follow suit!
Fear of Failure
Some of the most successful individuals in history failed. Failure is merely a stepping stone to success. This fear is usually connected to a fear of the unknown or a loss of ones personal power. Perhaps you’re afraid of becoming your true powerful self, or maybe you’ve allowed others to usurp your power. It’s difficult to believe you are worthy of success when you’ve submitted to control and manipulation.
Fear of Success
This fear is generally connected to issues of validation or approval from others. Those who suffer from this fear often lack personal identity. Are you willing to be yourself and follow your own passions – even if it means disapproval from others or the loss of a relationship?
Fear of Rejection
This fear is usually connected to issues of self-confidence and self-love. Those who suffer from this fear often appease others as a means of garnering affection. Is it easier to stand against the wall than get into the dance? If you start dancing, you’ll have to adopt a set of principles and stop the people pleasing!
OK! It’s time to move on to the nuts and bolts of how to overcome fear. I’ve outlined a basic 4 step process below:
- Uncover the Root Issues
Examine your fear. Uncover the issues that are at the core. What are you really afraid of? Have you allowed others to define you? Has someone stripped you of your personal power? Do you feel unworthy because someone has verbally abused you. Are you unable to trust others because you don’t trust yourself? Remember, it’s not the fear that you’re afraid of; it’s the consequences of the underlying issues!
- Establish your Identity
When you allow others to define you, it’s like giving them permission to write your autobiography. There’s only one problem with that – your soul gets lost in the narrative. Stop allowing others to define you and dictate your path or purpose – even if it means the loss of a relationship with a friend or family member.
- Embrace Self-Discovery
If you want to become fearless, you must become comfortable in your own shoes. Don’t be afraid to peer into your own soul. Embrace self –love and personal evolution. All good things come through self-discovery. There’s really no down side to becoming your true self.
- Take Action
Start with setting some boundaries. Adopt a set of principles and stand like a rock. Learn to calmly and confident speak your will. When something is wrong, say it’s wrong! Take back your personal power and write your own script. Live your life in truth because it really will set you free. And finally, yes, do the thing that you think you can’t do!
The Addiction Freedom & Life Transformation Coach
For more information on how to overcome fear and addiction subscribe to my free e-course 5stepstoaddictionfreedom.com/
Article From Holistic Health Articles http://www.holistichealtharticles.com/
- Conquering Fear. (anthonysramblings.wordpress.com)
- WATCH: Becoming Fearless About Love (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)
- The Fear in Fearless (sherrymeneley.com)