Having worked with many clients recovering from childhood emotional abuse, and having experienced it myself, I want to share my learning with you, in the hope that it will help you be well, feel good, be happy and create the life you desire and deserve.
The most important relationship you have in your life is the one with yourself, and if you have been emotionally abused, recovering that relationship with yourself is absolutely essential.
In fact, among the consequences of being emotionally abused you might have developed depression, or anger, self-hatred, anxiety, low self-esteem, loss of identity, self-harming, social anxiety, low assertiveness, low confidence, fear, guilt, shame, self-blame, hopelessness, difficulties in putting boundaries in relationships and in social interactions, fear of people, fear of judgement.
You might not know you have rights: the right to your life, to being you, the right to choosing. And the right to likes, wants, needs, boundaries; the right to choose your beliefs, the right to like who you are, to love yourself, to treat yourself as you choose, to give yourself the worth you want. The right to choose your values and code of conduct, the right to behave as you choose, the right to do what you want, the right to live the life you want, the right to make you happy, the right to make mistakes, the right to forgive yourself.
You might be afraid that you will experience the same things you experienced in the past: but NO, the past is the past, it will NOT equal the future. Believe it! And YOU CAN DO IT!
You need to dissociate totally from the past, from what has been told you in the past, what was said back then; NOW you are going to choose everything for yourself and your life. You need to let go of the anger or hatred towards those people as it will just hold you back; you need to accept what happened as simply part of your past; and you need to find something positive in what you have experienced for which to be thankful, for example for being the person you have become.
Nothing and nobody has any power over you: you are the only one who has power over yourself, over your mind, your thoughts, your emotions, and your life.
And the process is like taking back all your power and owning your mind, your heart, and your soul: you choose who you are, you choose your thoughts, your beliefs, your values, your code of conduct, how you treat yourself, how you are going to behave, what you are going to do, how your life is going to be.
Only you choose. You are the only master of your mind, of your heart, or you soul, of your life. You are your own guru and your own leader.
You are the only one who knows what is right and good for you. Just listen inside yourself. As another consequence of being emotionally abused you might not know what is “normal”. The solution is: you need to listen inside for what “feels” right for you, trust your guts, and choose. And little by little you will develop your personality, you will think with your head and live your life on your own terms.
You will once again own who you are, be you, and develop a loving and harmonious relationship with yourself and with society.
You are going to be the only leader of your life.
What if you made TODAY the FIRST DAY of the REST of YOUR LIFE?
Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Hypnotic Practitioner, Director of PG Coaching Ltd. She is passionate about helping you be well, and create a life that makes you truly happy. Please visit: pgcoaching (dot) co.uk, firstname.lastname@example.org.